Dear Undergraduate Project Student
Thank you for your email.
I would just like to draw your attention to the general guidelines of the final year project that you seem not to be aware of:
(1) If you choose a project outwith the supervisor’s research expertise, as you have done, you will be told so, and you can, therefore, not expect the supervisor to tell you about the variables that you should be looking at, the theory behind the topic, or design the experiment for you, for which you have indicated in your email that you expect me to do.
(2) It is not my job to do the literature search or read the papers, not even one, as you have indicated in your email to me you would like me to do. I have a job with many roles and tasks. I don’t need or have time to do your job for you as well. You should feel privileged that I took 3 hours to read even one paper, which I did, but not required to do. See, I can use a search engine. Can you?
(3) When I tell you to do (2) yourself, which I have already, I don’t expect you to then respond asking me why I haven’t done it. It is not my job. I have one already. When I tell you to go find it yourself I expect you to do so before emailing me asking me why I haven’t done 1 and 2.
(4) Finally, I don’t care what your friends are doing or that they have, apparently, started their project already. It is the first week of term. If you were so eager, stressed, worried, etc., then you had all of the summer to start.
I would also like to point out that I cannot respond to emails I never received. I am also not obliged to respond immediately, after 5pm during the week, or at weekends or when I am on vacation. I also may take some time to respond because you never asked me a question in your previous email or because I actually have other work to do before responding to your mini drama.
Further evidence of drama queen antics will be squashed.
You have been warned