I’m expecting my Oleg toy any day now….

Dear Car Insurer

I received your annual renewal letter, and I have a few questions.

I have been with you two years yet my quote has gone up by over £70. Yes, I kept my last two renewal notices as I’m a hoarder, so I was easily able to check. I would like to confirm that, yes, I am in fact two years older now, have two more year’s driving experience, and two more year’s no claims bonus. I haven’t actually age regressed. So, why has it gone up so much?

Ah, the inevitable annual rise. But by £70? Really? Can I charge you my hourly rate for looking for an alternative provider?

The Equal Opps Act? May I suggest, rather than increasing women’s insurance you do the logical, and honourable, thing, and decrease men’s insurance. Why should I pay for more careless male drivers? And, despite what politicians may say, women, in many areas of society, are not equal to men. Just look around your cabinet as evidence. There is a tonne of data which shows that gender has an impact on driving behaviour. Why, in this one area, is it necessary to ignore the data just so everyone is equal? There are medicines which affect males and females differently, people of different ethnic groups differently, are you suggesting we should ignore that data just so everyone feels “equal”?

I would also like to thank you for making absolutely no attempt to match a competing quote. I really appreciate it. It really shows that you care and have appreciated my business over the last two years.

Please find my old L plates attached. A little gift from me to you

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