Reason giving vs owning up

“I’m late because I missed the bus”

“I need to borrow money Ma because the car broke down and it was expensive to repair”

“The dog ate my homework”


Sound familiar?

Sure, we all do it. We made a boo boo but, honest, it wasn’t our fault. Various factors that had nothing to do with us colluded and conspired against us.

Seems harmless?

We call this reason giving. Finding excuses for our inexcusable behaviour. Deflecting fault onto others or things. No matter what it was that happened it definitely wasn’t our fault, ma’am.

Things is, it probably is your fault. You missed the bus because you were too tired to get up at the right time because you spent all last night on your XBox until 2am. Yes, you did have to repair your car, but it was because you didn’t get it serviced last year, didn’t change the oil or maintain it to even a basic level, and frittered all your money away at the pub. And, dogs generally don’t have a taste for homework….

Once you cotton on to the fact that most excuses are reason giving you’ll spot it everywhere. You’ll also notice some really frustrating people who will not accept blame for anything. It is always someone else’s fault. These people are shits. Whenever you see it in others, you need to challenge it. Especially for the sake of the doormat that they always blame. And watch out for it in yourself….

Sometimes it is someone else’s fault. But if you want to maintain at least the mirage that you have some control over your own life, you need to own up to your mistakes. How will you make sure you don’t do it again in the future if you won’t face up to your faults? People who are mature and responsible own up to their mistakes. They are reliable. These are the people you want around you, and is something to aspire to. Those who deflect their faults onto others need a kick up the arse and a character assassination.

So, next time you’re late to a meeting, or don’t hand your assignment in on time, don’t make crap excuses. Own up to it. Your lecturer might still fail you or mark you as absent, but they’ll have much more respect for you.


Am I talking out of my ass?

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