Excuse me, I don’t want folic acid in my multivits

Dear ASDA

On examining the list of vitamins and minerals in your own brand multivits I was rather annoyed to see the inclusion of folic acid at the expense of far more important minerals, such as magnesium.

It may surprise you, but many women don’t actually want to pop a sprog. And, no, they won’t change their mind when they realise their clock is about to hit nuclear. They genuinely don’t want a mini me. Let’s face it, who does??

Given that most of us get nowhere near enough magnesium, apparently something to do with your farmers picking their fruit when it isn’t ready, and a lack of magnesium being related to tiredness, in our over stressed society, would a bit more magnesium not be too much to ask for? How about some caffeine? Nicotine? Crack cocaine?

And, on a related topic, why do I require a big strong man to open said pack of multivits? I hope your 50+ range aren’t as difficult to open….

Ah, sprogs. You are worried that if you don’t make them Russian invasion proof little Olaf’s will be raiding the cupboards/kitchen tables and popping them like sweets.

Well, all I can say to that is, if mummy and daddy can band aid every sharp corner in the house, is it too much to ask that they put their crack cocaine somewhere out of reach? No? Are there not more people who are elderly or with disabilities that have difficulties opening these bottles than irresponsible parents? No?

Is it not simply an example of natural selection? No?

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